Wincelers
Our most casual and unexamined statements reveal our deepest beliefs – and misconceptions. More and more, I think we have a lot wrong about child rearing right now, misconceptions about how kids tick, what they need, and what kind of support will help them best. Good-hearted, hard-working, devoted parents will say things to me that make me wince because I feel how the beliefs behind what they say will hurt their child. The things they say have an “of-course” tone: Of course you and I share this assumption. Of course this is how kids are. Of course this is how Life is.
In homage to Dr. Seuss, let’s call these casual statements Wincelers:
“He must be ADHD, because he avoids his math homework.”
“Honestly, it’s as though she thinks time with her friends is more important than getting to class on time.”
“He has to learn discipline.”
“She’s just lazy.”
“He tries to avoid consequences.”
“If she’d only _______, then I’d be happy.”
“I don’t care about grades, but [fill in any reason that you still have to get good ones].”
“I / He / She / They hate(s) me / us / them.”
And you, Gentle Reader, What sentences are Wincelers for you?
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